First, before you read this, realize it's just a story. I'm not a sexist asshole, the characters in the story are. This is a kind of excerpt from a larger story I'm writing, so keep it in a context. Please consider this before you want to crucify me. Thanks.

The Rain

What people don't get when they come to Burketah is you should always bring plenty of extra clothes. Especially the chicks, unless they don't give a rat's sack if people ogle their breasts. Hell, I live for it. Big, round, small, puffy, firm, saggy - hell, I've seen 'em all.
What people don't get is, in Burketah, when it rains it pours. Except our rain, for some damn reason, eats right through clothes. Yep, so chicks have a lot more to worry about than an impromptu wet T-shirt contest.
The way Dr. Belcher sees it, this rain is all just a plan to give some balance to the err of our ways. Dr. Belcher says us men should take advantage of the situation, best we can. He says men love breasts because they're the apex power containers, or some shit. He says way back in the beginning of the Holy Bible, we men lost control of the Earth when we ate the fruit given from the woman. There was no snake, that was just a scapegoat for that bitch Eve. It says when we ate that fruit, for some damn reason, we realized we were naked. That's when everything went to shit.
It all has to do with tits.
He says we lost everything, all our power, our virility, when chicks started hiding their holy mounds. Fuck the vagina, that's just a diversion. A trap for our powers, not to mention a place to rot our dicks off.
He says men have spent every hour of every day tryin' to free breasts of all shapes and sizes from their self-imposed prisons. Some've even tried to get their own set. According to Dr. Belcher, the only way back to true freedom is to liberate the breasts by any means necessary.
Now, don't take Dr. Belcher wrong. He's a good man. Some even think he's a leader or prophet or guru or something. He doesn't even hate chicks. He thinks they've done a lot of good, what with their reproductive abilities and cooking and cleaning and all. They just crossed the line. Started acting like they were the same as us, demanding votes and jobs and shit.
He says even that was o.k., but they didn't hold up to their end of the bargain. They didn't use their powers responsibly. See, power comes with responsibility, but they took it and went right on keeping their tits all locked away, saying we "objectified" them, or some shit.
Dr. Belcher said
well, fuck that.

So he made it rain...